The Flip Side Of Fear

Monday 29nd January

Hello 👋

Let's unravel a little life paradox today.

You know when you find yourself shying away from things…

Here's a thought: You usually really want them. And, you’re afraid cause you feel like you’re going to mess it up.

An Example…

Take social anxiety. It's a beast, isn't it? Dodging parties, dreading introductions.

But if you pull back the curtain a little…

You usually have a deep, burning desire for connection. And what’s causing the anxiety is the fear you’ll mess it up.

Your emotions are your compass.

This can be seen with love languages.

Criticism or Silence (opposite of Words of Affirmation)

Loving the way someone compliments you, or how they talk to you, is often linked to a fear of not being recognised. Or a fear of not getting feedback from people you care for the opinion of.

Neglect or Disconnection (opposite of Quality Time)

Just having someone present, is usually from a deep fear or rejection or isolation. Sometimes they don’t want to do anything. Just sit there with someone who wants them.

Thoughtlessness or Material Neglect (opposite of Receiving Gifts)

If receiving gifts is your love language, not receiving them—or receiving gifts that seem thoughtless—can lead to a fear of not being known or cherished.

Burdening or Lack of Support (opposite of Acts of Service)

Acts of service are often well received by someone who wants someone to share a heavy workload.

Or you could look at it this way. Acts of service, are done by someone who feels constantly they need to shift their weight and prove they are useful.

Withholding Affection (opposite of Physical Touch)

The need to feel someone near or close. Physical touch can also be done by someone, who worries they aren’t present enough. And they must be close, to be recognised.

You always take action, on what you believe will benefit you.

Even if it keeps you away from things you want. You can sometimes believe it’s not enough to chase it just yet.

And that’s ok. There’s so much to explore. Take your time.

You’ll figure it out.

Stay curious,

C